What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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