I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it's like iHOP with fire
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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