I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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