I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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