hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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