Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize