Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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