Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize