so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize