Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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