I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
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i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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