chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize