A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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