No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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