yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize