it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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