I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize