things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize