I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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