Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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