wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize