you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
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There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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