Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize