i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize