My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
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I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize