Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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