She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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