I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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