party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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