this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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