there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You ruined the universe
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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