My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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