I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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