dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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