Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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