i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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