So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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