i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
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was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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