girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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