I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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