capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize