dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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