Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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