dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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