So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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