i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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