the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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