I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize