Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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