guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize